24 May

Growth and Strength

Growth – this word is associated with getting bigger (bigger in size, in experience).
In order to grow we need to open up and take something inside (wonderful words by Bert Hellinger). This is how we become bigger or richer.

Bert Hellinger in his books offers us to feel what way are we going: to get more open, bigger and richer or to get more isolated, smaller and poor. This applies to any life situation: relationships with family, friends, people, work, health, happiness and so on.

Growing requires our courage and strength, because instead of hiding we choose to face and we take responsibility, which is often painful. This way we become only stronger.

Elena Nesterenko
Family Constellations in Torornto

23 May

Looking for Happiness

If you feel sad and are looking around trying to find some happiness for yourself – this is no the place for your happiness.

Your happiness is in you. No one can make you happy if you do not connect to your own happiness first.

Bert Hellinger says that our happiness is in connection to our mother. We are happy as much as we take our mother. And he says that many people do not understand that our mother is already within us, no need to look for her.

These words are just a just words for you until you are able to walk your own path, to live through it. What matters here is your inner experience. Otherwise these are just words.

Elena Nesterenko
Family Systemic Constellations in Toronto

21 May

“Mistakes”

“Bad” experiences or “mistakes” – this is something we often tend to get rid of, forget, like it never happened. There is no bad experience, there is experience. Any experience can be used to grow or to get stuck in it.
Your experience is the foundation for your next step.
By rejecting your experiences you kind of create a hole under your feet. This is the trap you fall into every time you step there. Read More →

20 May

You Cannot Give if Your Hands are Empty

From your emptiness you can only give emptiness.

Natural Givers

Lots of people, when giving, are actually looking to take, because they are empty. This is often very confusing at the beginning and traumatic after, because it looks like they are ready to give, but they actually only manipulate you and when the moment is right they start not taking but grabbing from you, and they are often very demanding. So, if you are a “natural giver”, you are actually a hidden taker, you grab energy from the people around you. Read More →

12 May

How do We Create Problems. Easy Way :)

How our every day tasks turn into problems, health turns into illness, strength into weakness?

Your everyday tasks, your health, your strength, your life – all of it was given exactly to you. This means you are able to handle it. Here is one Jewish joke: “A man is asking the rabbi: “Can you give me an advice? I have a problem that I cannot solve.” The rabbi says: “I see no logic here. Read More →

29 Apr

Gratitude Habit

Being grateful to the life just the way it is, being grateful to your parents just the way they are – this is a blessing. This feels like a blessing in your body.

Bert Hellinger, the author of the family constellations method, suggests in one of his books to write down a few good things about your mother, father, spouse. This is the way of becoming grateful, especially if you are unhappy about the things around you.

Many of us are so got used to be unhappy, angry, stuck and so on. Why don’t we decide one day to begin developing new habits, Read More →

28 Apr

Responsibility

Bert Hellinger, the originator of the Family Constellations method, in all his books speaks of responsibility. He always points to the importance of facing your responsibility and taking the right load upon yourself. This is as important as the life.

Taking responsibility and taking only your responsibility is life important.

Why is this so important?
Not taking your responsibility makes you weak, ill and unsuccessful.
Taking someone’s responsibility, again, makes you weak, ill and unsuccessful.

Not taking the right responsibility load makes you weak, ill and unsuccessful. Read More →

20 Feb

Fear of Success

Being optimistic (or realistic), you can say, that having fear of success is, on the other hand, being brave in losing everything or being brave to fail. If you have fear of something, this means you are brave in the opposite. It all depends on what you choose to serve, life or past. All people are successful in serving what they serve.

02 Feb

Life is a Game Right Here and Now

Life is a game. Sometimes it is at a high price, yes. It requires from us to react to what is given right here and right now. And it constantly changing, never stands. If you are stuck somewhere in the past, looking at some old problems or carrying old beliefs – your reaction to the day today will be most likely irrelevant and one more opportunity might just flow away to another player.
How to understand if you are stuck? If any event, especially an unpleasant, is happening in your life, and you stop frustrated, angry, scared, blaming, or upset instead of looking for a way to deal with it – this means being stuck. To be able to move with life you need to integrate all aspects of your being into yourself. There is nothing to reject in you – all to observe and to integrate, all your past – this is your strength. Once it is integrated – leaving it and moving with the now.

About the reasons of being stuck and about ways of dealing with them – in the next article.

Elena Nesterenko
Constellations Work

31 Jan

Rules from the Yesterday

Many rules, that we carry with us, belong to the yesterday. They do not serve the day today. They make our life heavy. They prevent us from being able to react to what life is giving to us right here and right now. Part of the growth is to leave them behind.

Those rules were relevant when there was their time. And life never stands at the same spot, always changing and evolving. Life is a river. If you are not a river yourself, you are not in the now. Whatever does not serve the now to stay where it belongs.