06 Jun

Why Do We Get Ill? Why Don’t We Live Happily? The First Order Of Love.

Family Constellations Toronto

Why is our life the way it is? We want to be happy in our family life, lucky in love, healthy, professionally successful. We do not want our children to repeat our mistakes and be ill the same way as we are. These are regular life situations and issues. Sometimes it seems just amazing when it has been decided that from today everything will be different. But no, it appears something is not letting us through. What is that?

The Roots of Illnesses

Let’s discuss the illnesses first. If someone gets sick, the first what seems should be treated is, of course, the body. However, the body is not always the place, where the roots of the illnesses are located.
Most often, this is not the case. Frequently, the roots of the illnesses are found in the soul. Namely, the soul gets ill initially and the body only reflects its state. Bert Hellinger – a German theologian, philosopher and psychotherapist – as the result of his profound experience of working with people, has found out that very often the roots of the illnesses go back into one’s distant past, into the family past. If in the family past there was a traumatic situation, its implications would be reflected in the descendants, in their illnesses (and not only). One of the reasons for that is not observing the first order of love. This is not the only one reason, but commonly met.

The First Order Of Love

The first order of love sounds very simple:

Anyone who has acquired the right to belong to a family belongs to it. This right cannot be taken away.

The challenge is how this right has been earned. This right is often earned in a way that other family members do not want to admit it. That is, they are trying to exclude a family member from the family, and behave as if the person does not exist: they treat him or her negatively, might not speak to the person and try to forget him or her. This is what creates new problematic situations in the future: illnesses and others.

Our Family – Who Are They?

Usually, answering the question, who belongs to your family, people say: mom, dad, husband, wife, children. They can also mention grandparents, uncles, aunts, nephews. It’s quite clear. However, the most important thing to know is that the family rights might be earned not only trough to the birth or marriage. The right to belong to a family could be earned as the result of a trauma or harm, as well as the result of an assistance/help. For example: murder, rape, financial damage, life-saving situation, inheritance (or other financial assistance), sexual intercourse, and many other situations.

Anyone who’s been traumatized by a family acquires the right to belong to it.
Anyone who has injured a family acquires the right to belong to it.
Everyone who’s been helped by a family acquires the right to belong to it.
Everyone who has helped a family acquires the right to belong to it.

A non-recognition of this right leads to serious consequences for the future generations. The problem is that such situations are often kept in secret. Descendants even “do not know” why something happens to them. The family information field, or its soul, knows everything. And the soul requires this right’s recognition, which often is intertwined with courage of the descendants.

Constellations Work

Traumas from our past could be worked with. Bert Hellinger has developed the practical method of constellations. This method exists the way it is applicable today thanks to Bert Hellinger, although initially it has been evolved from other people’s works. Bert Hellinger has designed this method, in my opinion, to be very practical. Constellation work allows to open (see) these traumas from the past to acquire a more healthy and happy present and future life.